Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Cruel to Be Kind

I’ve had 1984 on my mind today. Not the year mind you, but the novel. I suppose there would be no harm in spending the day thinking about parachute pants, big hair, and The Brat Pack; however, Orwell occupies my brain space today. 
My thoughts keep returning to Big Brother’s ever-present contradictory doctrine:
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
LOVE IS HATE

Like Winston Smith, I too have been forced to accept a strange paradoxical tenet:

POISON IS CURE

I started chemotherapy and radiation today.  My pharmacy ordered my meds, but they won’t be in until tomorrow.  The oncology staff managed to find some samples, so as not to delay the start of treatment any longer.

The nurse gave me the large sealed plastic bag pictured below:



Inside was a second sealed plastic bag, which contained a third sealed plastic bag.  She also handed me a full box of surgical gloves.  She explained that I should wear the gloves when handling the pills, because they are toxic.  Um…yeah, hold on here.  I can’t touch the pills because of their toxicity, but you want me to put them in my mouth and swallow them?  Does anyone else see the absurd oxymoronic nature of this scenario?

To make matters more complicated, the kids were home when I had to take my first dose.  I should have hidden in the bathroom to avoid the inevitable questions, but I was a little too lost in my own thoughts about swallowing this stuff.  My ever-inquisitive son wanted to know how a pill could be poison to touch, but not poison to eat. 

How could I tell him that I was wondering the same thing? 

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