42

Yesterday was my 42^nd birthday.  I’ve been looking forward to being 42 for quite some time.  Anyone who’s read Douglas Adams can understand why.  For those of you unfamiliar with his body of work, let me offer a bit of explanation.

Douglas Adams is the author of a 6-book “trilogy”, of which “The Hitchhikers’ Guide to the Galaxy” is the first. (He didn’t actually write the sixth book, but that doesn’t matter.)  These books are of the comedy science fiction genre. They follow the adventures of a man named Arthur Dent, who finds himself adrift in the galaxy after the earth is destroyed.

Early in the first book, Arthur learns that a race of “hyper-intelligent” aliens designed a supercomputer to calculate the “Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything.” This computer, after seven and a half million years of calculation, announced that the “Answer” was in fact 42.  Unfortunately, the answer had no question to give it meaning, so the aliens created the earth to determine the question.  After 10 million years, just minutes before completion of the program, the earth was demolished by an intergalactic bulldozer to make way for hyperspace bypass. (I guess road construction on the Capitol Beltway isn’t so bad after all.)*

So, you see, I viewed my 42^nd birthday as the beginning of my year to understand the meaning of my “life, the universe, and everything”.  In some small recess of my mind, this was going to be the year I finally figured everything out and became comfortable in my own skin  Until last month, cancer had no place in this scenario. This was to be a year of self-discovery and newly defined purpose, not a year of chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery. This whole cancer thing really took the wind out of my sails…at first.

In the month between my diagnosis and my birthday, I’ve accepted the reality that my journey of self-exploration will be far different from the one I initially envisioned.  Just as the earth met its end by some arbitrary outside force, the world I knew before cancer is equally gone. Like Arthur, I must navigate through a new universe to find answers and ensure my survival.  I choose to believe that my adventure, while scary, will lead me to the resolution, purpose, and peace that I seek.

*Thanks, Wikipedia for help with the synopsis.